June 2001 Spotlight Featured Article
20 Steps to a Better Manuscript
presented by Moyra Tarling
reported by Kate Gross
Once your manuscript's finished, give yourself
a Cooling Off Period, anything from a day to a
week or more. It's important to distance yourself
emotionally from the story and gain objectivity
before moving from right brain (creating) to left
brain (editing). Use this 20 step checklist as
you revise your story:
Step 1: The Opening
a. Does your story start with a BANG?
b. Does your story start in the right place?
c. Does your story start in the middle of something?
d. Does your story start with a moment of change?
a. A good beginning takes the reader straight
into the action and sets out the Critical Situation—the
Problem facing the heroine. Did you set it out
clearly from the opening paragraph, making the
reader wonder what's going to happen? Did you
start with a "dynamite" opening, rather
than backstory?
b. Effective description can quickly pull a reader
into the story, but there's a danger in easing
in too slowly—you risk boring the modern
reader who's unwilling to read long descriptions
at the start of a novel. Better to jump in with
dramatic detail, action or dialogue and put your
heroine on the brink of something about to happen;
let the reader see conflict and trouble ahead.
c. Grab your reader's attention by putting the
heroine smack in the middle of a problem. Did
you start with dialogue, dropping the reader into
the middle of a heated discussion or argument?
d. Start your story in an already changed situation,
like an arrival, a day that's different, a fight
or trouble. Your reader wants to see how the heroine
copes with that change and will happily wait for
you to fill in the background details later.
Answer the "4 Ws" quickly to give the
reader a clear picture to focus on:
i. WHO's the story about? In the first
chapter, give the minimum of information about
the hero and heroine. Don't slow the story down
by detail; give only enough to propel the story
forward. And if the story (especially in series
romance) is being told in the heroine's pov the
hero should appear on page one or as soon possible,
or at least be talked or thought about if he's
not there yet.
ii. WHAT's the story about? What's happening?
Show what's at stake.
iii. WHERE does it take place? In what
geographical location?
iv. WHEN does it take place? Day or night,
summer or winter?
v. WHY is the heroine in this predicament?
Give only the essential details. The reader will
read on to discover motivation.
The story's first sentence is important: give
the reader a shock, or tantalize her with a hook
(a story question), baited to make her curious,
to reel her in. Using the 5 senses, invite her
into the heroine's world, paint a word picture
with vivid nouns, strong verbs and avoidance of
abstract ideas.
The first paragraph should also set the tone
of your book. If you start out humorous, stick
with it, be consistent. Don't cheat your reader—deliver
what you promise.
Step 2: Reader Identification
Have you created a hero and heroine readers can
easily relate to and empathize with? People they'll
want to spend time with?
Step 3: Your Main Characters
Are they fully developed, three-dimensional people?
You must know them physiologically, sociologically,
and psychologically, i.e. their physical description,
societal background, hopes, fears and talents.
You must know their flaws and the special qualities
that will enable them to overcome the obstacles
they'll face. But don't make either their flaws
or virtues too extreme or the reader might have
trouble caring what happens to them. Character
names are important; choose them with care.
Are you characters realistic and believable?
Do they always act consistently and "in character"?
Keep your hero "heroic" and make sure
he's your fantasy too, otherwise why would your
heroine or your reader fall in love with him?
Finally, make sure your characters have changed
by the end of your book, that they've learned
and grown from what they've experienced.
Step 4: Motivation
Do your hero and heroine both have a goal and
are their reasons for attaining their goals believable?
Give them a Prime Motivating Force, a ruling passion
that establishes strong motivation and determination
for how they go about achieving those goals. Make
sure each opposes the other's goal—otherwise
you have no conflict and no story.
Step 5: Conflict
You need a strong, convincing story to carry
the book. Check you've included external and internal
conflict—the surface, bone of contention,
well-motivated conflict as well as the hidden,
psychological one, the push-pull of the characters'
attraction for each other. Conflict must arise
from within the characters and their relationship
and not be driven by the plot alone.
Step 6: Plot
It's the skeleton that brings order and coherence
to your story, so make sure your plot is strong
and clearly defined, not confusing or lacking
in energy or direction. Watch that the plot doesn't
wander or unfold illogically. If you're using
a well-known plot, i.e. Marriage of Convenience,
Secret Baby—make sure you've given it a new
and interesting twist.
Step 7: Theme
It's the core of what you're trying to say with
the book, the root idea. Whether you know it from
the start or when you finish the book, it'll help
focus your (re-)writing. For example: beauty is
only skin deep, pride comes before a fall.
Step 8: Emotion
Your main object is to create emotion in the
reader—is there a strong thread of emotion
throughout the book? Does the reader share the
heroine's emotions and feel vicariously what she
feels and how she reacts in every scene? Does
she experience along with the heroine her growing
relationship with the hero?
Step 9: The Hero and Heroine Relationship
Ensure it's your main focus. The chemistry between
them must sizzle from the start, but by the end
it must have developed from simple physical attraction
to their being best friends and in love. But don't
make it easy for them! Use scenes of tenderness
as well as conflict as they grow to like, trust
and love each other.
Step 10: Show Don't Tell
Check that you've shown through action, dialogue
and emotional scenes how warm and wonderful, stubborn
and gritty your hero and heroine really are. Don't
just tell the reader, show her!
Step 11: Pacing
Pacing is what moves your story forward, keeps
the reader turning the pages. Creating a "timeline"
for your story can be very helpful so that everything
doesn't happen in one day! Scene and sequel, action
and reaction, greatly influence pacing. Remember
not to wear your reader out—give her breathing
space to assimilate what she's reading. But be
ruthless—cut out any scene that doesn't move
your story forward.
Step 12: Setting
Imaginary or real, the story location must be
real to the reader, so make the details of the
place authentic. If you choose a real setting,
be careful not to become a tour guide! With the
exception of historical novels, whose readers
expect rich detail, don't overload with too many
lovingly researched details! Less is more. Setting
can also establish tone and mood, so use a variety
of settings and don't forget weather can also
enhance a setting.
Step 13: Narrative and Dialogue
Is there a good balance of Narrative and Dialogue?
Be careful that your narrative isn't slowing the
story down. Is dialogue getting important information
across? If not, cut it out. Splice narrative description
and background information between passages of
scintillating dialogue, and ensure the reader
always knows who's talking. Use "said"
wherever possible, and limit adverbs. A good test
for telling whether dialogue sounds real is to
read these scenes aloud.
Step 14: Love Scenes
Have you used the 5 senses? Have these scenes
evolved naturally out of your story? Are they
appropriate for the line you're writing for? It's
difficult to avoid clichés in writing love
scenes, but remember the reader is also being
seduced so try to make it new and exciting. Don't
cheat her out of a satisfying romantic scene,
but don't be too graphic!
Step 15: Secondary Characters
They're important in most stories but do you
have too many secondary characters? (They shouldn't
confuse the reader.) Do they add depth and colour?
Be careful not to let children and animals steal
the show!
Step 16: Flashbacks and Foreshadowing
Flashbacks are great at filling in important
information but they can slow the story down.
Are they doing their job? Have you interspersed
them throughout the story? Are the transitions
in and out of the flashbacks smooth and clear?
Are the characters, actions made believable by
careful foreshadowing?
Step 17: The Black Moment
Have you made the reader feel that all's lost
for the hero and heroine? Have you made it as
bleak as possible? Be dramatic, milk it for all
it's worth!
Step 18: Resolution
Does the Resolution come from the actions taken
by the hero or heroine? It shouldn't come from
another source. Check that it's believable and
that it evolved naturally from the story events.
Make sure you've satisfied the reader and that
you've kept a balance between wrapping up too
quickly and taking too long. Make the last paragraph
or sentence special, give it some significance
to the story's theme or title. Let the reader
see and feel the emotions brought by the resolution,
the joy of uniting these characters forever.
Step 19: The Mechanics
Point of view: did you switch back and
forth too often? Is it distracting? Sentence
construction: did you vary length, use fragments
in appropriate places? Style: does it come
from within? Is it your voice? Vocabulary:
are you using active verbs, avoiding unnecessary
modifiers and qualifiers and purple prose? If
you're not sure, consult a good style and grammar
book.
Step 20: Market Research
Have you researched the line you're aiming for,
read their current books and made your manuscript
fit it?
If you've done all of the above, congratulations!
Mail off the book and get started on your next
one!
Moyra Tarling and Kate Gross are both members
of GVC.
Articles may be reprinted in RWA® chapter
newsletters, attributed to the Spotlight.
Non-RWA® newsletters may not reprint articles
without the permission of the authors.
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