| 1. Where do you get your ideas?
Answer 1. "Something I
read, hear or see triggers a story I know I have
to write someday." Then I give an example
of an idea that turned into one of my books.
Answer 2. "Oh, you don't
have any ideas? That's too bad. I have a couple
of extra ones in my pocket I don't need. You can
have them if you like."
2. Do you model your characters on
real people?
Answer 1. "No, I find it
doesn't work. Characters tend to write themselves.
I have used animals I've known in my books though."
Answer 2. "No, I'm not
actually crazy about being sued."
3. You must make a lot of money.
Answer 1. "It is possible
to make a reasonable living writing for Harlequin
if you write several books a year. I no longer
write for Harlequin."
Answer 2. "Do you?"
4. How many hours a day do you spend
writing?
Answer 1. "I write from
10 to 3 most days, including weekends." This
is an outright lie, but nobody cares.
Answer 2. "I'm afraid I
always lie about that. How many hours would you
like me to write?"
5. Are you the one who writes those
trashy books?
Answer 1. "Gulp! Umm..."
Sick grin, followed by sicker laugh.
Answer 2. "No, I write
the good ones." This is the answer I always
forget to give.
6. Oh, do you write? I'm going to
write a book myself when I find the time.
Answer 1. "That's nice."
Do not ask what their book will be about because
they'll tell you.
Answer 2. "Most people
who can write a book do."
7. I've got this great story for
you about my sister-in-law's affair with her brother/aunt/dog...
Answer 1. "Ummm—that's
not actually my kind of story."
Answer 2. "Actually I write
romances. Hadn't you noticed?"
8. My life story is really interesting
but my English isn't so good—so you can
write it for me and we'll split the profits.
Answer 1. "I write fiction,
and life stories can be hard to sell."
Answer 2. "There won't
be any profits. Believe me."
9. I've written this book about sausages/lilies/cockroaches...
Will you read it, tell me it's wonderful and get
it published for me?
Answer 1. "I'm afraid I'm
on a deadline and I don't know much about sausages/lilies/cockroaches...
Try the Writers' Market."
Answer 2. "No, I won't
read it because I write romances, not sausages,
etc. and if I were in the publishing business
I'd start with my own books."
10. When are you going to write a
real book? (This one is most often asked by 'friends.')
Answer 1. "My books are
real for a few hours to the millions of readers
who buy them as an escape from difficult or sometimes
unbearable lives. I'm proud when I get letters
telling me my writing has helped."
Answer 2. "Define a real
book. Then go write one."
Kay Gregory is a member of GVC.
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