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March 2003 Spotlight Featured Article

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Brunch...
by Kay Gregory

My alarm squawks. Aargh! It's the morning of Valentine's Brunch 2003. No turning it off and going back to sleep. I grumble my way out of bed and stagger downstairs to collect newspaper that isn't there. Our house alarm, which in my semi-comatose state I have forgotten to disarm, explodes into gleeful beeps and whistles—likes a chance to show off—as a bass baritone voice growls, "Intrusion, intrusion." Dog erupts into frenzy of protective howling. I swear, and switch off Intrusion Man. Husband points out that alarm has gone off. I refrain from attempting to smother him in order to pursue seriously disturbed spider. I don't do spiders, but this is a smallish one and we come to an accommodation. He goes out, I stay in.

I swallow breakfast and am ready when Judy and Joyce arrive to collect me. Dog also ready for Judy and Joyce and anxious to attend Brunch. I herd him, protesting, back into the house and we depart in plenty of time to get lost. The three of us, busy chatting—including Trained Observer in the back seat—drive smartly past hotel and head for wilds of Coquitlam. After several intriguing detours, Judy phones Judy Marshall's lovely husband who confirms that continuing on our current route is inadvisable if we plan to attend Brunch. He helpfully sets us on right track.

We arrive at hotel precisely on time. Naturally. At this point the day begins to improve. Our speaker, Joyce, who maintains she is voiceless but manages to talk anyway, delivers an inspiring speech that reminds me I'm supposed to be a writer. Not a dog-walker, mother of sons, telephone receptionist, nurse or—God forbid—a cook. She discusses the self-sabotage of which most of us are guilty and suggests ways to overcome it. I vow that tomorrow I will nurture my muse before accompanying dog on important expedition to sniff out foreign smells and rodents on the dike.

Bar opens. Revitalizing wine consumed. Splendid lunch—and more wine—consumed. Tickets are drawn for prizes. Lucky me, I win two. Judy J. presents roses to people who helped her during her last presidential year. I am awarded undeserved roses for sitting in her car while she chauffeurs me to meetings. Wish I could convince editors to buy my books with so little effort. Moyra receives impressively-deserved Caro Award for service to Chapter. Brunch consumed, awards awarded and prizes distributed. We relax and talk some more before heading home to write. And write. We do, don't we? Okay, okay, I admit it. I head home to feed dog and watch Monarch of the Glen. But tomorrow I will write. I really will. After I've thrown balls for dog, read the paper, phoned Judy ...

JOY-CE! Where are you now that I need you?

Kay Gregory is a member of GVC.

Articles may be reprinted in RWA® chapter newsletters, attributed to the Spotlight. Non-RWA® newsletters may not reprint articles without the permission of the authors.

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This page was last updated March 10, 2003.