As a counselor, I work with individuals to
reduce and address conflict in their lives. I
train them to use techniques to diffuse conflict
and assist them in creating healthy, happy relationships.
In fiction, unlike real life, the opposite is
true: we want conflict. No conflict equals no
story. The same techniques I use for counseling
can be used in fiction, only instead of reducing
conflict they can provide a springboard to take
your conflict to the next level.
- Pick the Right Atmosphere:
In real life you want to choose the right environment
to have a difficult conversation. You want to
choose a place where the individual can focus
on what you are saying and not instantly feel
defensive, trapped or uncomfortable. In fiction,
try and have the conflict happen in the most
uncomfortable place possible for your characters:
in public, at work, the bedroom, or at their
mother-in-law’s house at the holidays.
- Address Issues Promptly and Clearly:
While it is better for your relationships to
address problem areas before they build up,
in fiction a pressure build up is preferred.
Let characters stew until they suddenly explode
with emotion. Instead of stating clearly what
issue you want to have addressed, have your
fictional characters dance around the real issue.
There is nothing like confusion to make conflict
more difficult and increase the chance of misunderstandings.
- Listen and Maintain Emotional Control:
Instead of listening and reflecting on what
is said, allow your characters to lash out as
soon as they disagree with a point, even if
the point hasn’t been fully expressed.
Because they are already formulating a response
instead of listening, they increase the chance
that they misunderstand what the other person
is trying to say. Conflict is raised one step
at a time, and the more emotional the characters
become the more likely they quickly move up
these steps. This increases the chance they
will say something they’ll regret.
- Avoid Accusations: Fiction
should follow the opposite behavior. Characters
should use “you statements” not
“I statements.” You statements put
people on the defensive, such as, “you
always do this!” I statements are personal
and less accusatory, “I feel hurt when
this happens.” Never let a character go
small when they could go big. Instead of “you
leave your socks on the floor” make it
“you’re a slob and treat me like
a maid!”
- Create Win-Win Situations:
In real conflict resolution situations we try
to search out areas of common ground. This allows
each party to gain something from the solution.
In fiction, we want to keep our character’s
focus on not what they have in common, but what
sets them apart. If your character perceives
giving ground means they lose something, they
will fight to win rather than compromise.
Taking these top five conflict resolution tips
and turning them upside down you can take the
conflict between your characters to the next level.
While this might make your characters miserable
(at least until they get to their happy ending)
it will keep readers turning the page.
Eileen Cook spent most of her teen years wishing
she were someone else or somewhere else, which
is great training for a writer. When she was unable
to find any job postings for world famous author,
she went to Michigan State University and became
a counselor so she could at least afford her book
buying habit. But real people have real problems,
so she returned to writing because she liked having
the ability to control the ending. Which is much
harder with humans.
Eileen’s first book, a romantic comedy,
Unpredictable, was released in February
2008. Her second book, a young adult novel, What
Would Emma Do, was released in January 2009.
Visit Eileen on the web at www.eileencook.com.
Articles may be reprinted in RWA® chapter
newsletters, attributed to the Spotlight.
Non-RWA® newsletters may not reprint articles
without the permission of the authors.
Back to top
|
